I purchased this mug unbeknownst to the power it would bear. Meant for my work mug, I soon realized this vessel of freedom was overburdened with the liberal tears of my inferior coworkers. As I drinketh from it, the company break room was then silenced by the sound of mating calls from women within a 5-mile radius. My boss then approached me, overcome with gratitude for my past work performance, meritoriously promoted me on the spot. Startled by these series of events, I took the rest of the day off. On my drive home, I was nearly defeated by the defeaning sound of beautiful women’s ungarments pelting the side of my truck. I decided to pull over...but by the time I came to a stop on the side of the interstate I noticed a Texas state trooper in my rear view mirror. Rolling my window down, he glanced at Congressman Dan Crenshaw’s glorious grape on my mug and nodded in approval. The trooper then returned to his cruiser and with lights and sirens whaling down 635W in Dallas, I received a police escort to my destination safely. Semper Fidelis Congressman Dan Crenshaw.